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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

I received a copy of this book from Thomas Nelson Publishers to read and review.  There was no monetary compensation, so this is my honest opinion of the book.

In Love & Respect, Dr. Eggerichs introduces the concept of the "Crazy Cycle"; without respect, He reacts, without love, She reacts and on the cycle goes over and over.  As stated in the subtitle of the book, women most desire love and men desperately need respect.  Dr. Eggerichs points to Ephesians 5:33 as the biblical basis for this "love and respect" theme:  "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

Part Two of the book spends time looking at how a husband can spell love to his wife and how a woman can spell respect to her husband through the acronyms "couple" and "chairs" respectively.  These ideas are Dr. Eggerichs's answer to the crazy cycle and introduces the power of the "energizing cycle" to motivate biblical love and respect in the marriage relationship.  

Part Three of the book ends with the "rewarded cycle" which states "His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love."  

There are two main things I appreciated about this book.  Dr Eggerichs didn't just give his theories or ideas, but pointed to what God's word said.  It wasn't another marriage book with a lot of psychological mumbo-jumbo.  Also, the entire book was peppered with his personal experiences with these concepts in his own marriage, which made the case that employing these concepts would actually work.

I'll end with this quote from page 276:  "After more than a quarter of a century of counseling married couples and conducting Love and Respect Conferences, I have concluded that we don't have a "marriage crisis" in the Christian community; we have a crisis of faith.  The point is that we all have to come to grips with one question:  "Do I or do I not believe what Jesus Himself said?"  The whole point is that you really can't do Love and Respect unless you do it unto Jesus Christ.  And if you doubt the reality of Christ, if He is not truly Lord of you life, it won't work."

This book can be purchased at Amazon.  

Coram Deo,


jodi said...

I read this book several years ago and LOVED it! Some friends went to his conference and I asked them to buy me the CD's because my husband doesn't enjoy reading, but he'll listen to a book in his truck. Emerson made a lot of sense to us. Prob wouldn't be a bad idea to pull it back out again. Those "cycles" never fail to come up from time to time!